A Year Has Passed

Wow I look at this page and it's been over a year since I have even been on here. Time flies is such a cliche but it's so true. I cant believe it has been that long. It feels like yesterday I sat at my computer and spilled out these thoughts. As I type today I am in a very different place then last year, yet I still have many similar feelings. I guess the human condition never changes.

At this very moment I am more myself then I have ever been. I know who I am and who I am not, I know what I want and what I never want again. I have very close family and friends that I truly love. I have a great, stable job that not only pays the bills but also affords me to do a lot of things that I want to do. My apartment is all moved in and feels like home these days. I am truly blessed. I have more then most can ask for and for that I am very grateful. Yet I still feel completely disconnected.

I don't think people are truly connected these days. In a world where everything is connected to everything else, facebook friends follow you on twitter and read your blogs. You can talk all day non stop via email, facebook updates or tweets. But do we really know each other? Do we have a true connection? I am just as guilty of these things, I am addicted to facebook but Its like a substitute for the real thing.

Everyone is only a text message away, yet the silence between people is deafening. The world is cold and lonely. I guess we all walk alone at times, but I am done walking alone. I want a real connection. People in a room, together no technology talking about hopes and dreams and fears. I want something to tie me to this world, something to make me feel like there is a purpose for this pain.